FOUND SOME FUN PHRASES
hope to make
SOMEONE
smile hope its makes a different even
though its lame
SMILE
1.Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
2.People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day
3.I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.
4.I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
5.Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?
6.Lets TOAST to Lying,Cheating, and Stealing....if your gonna Lie..Lie for a Friend. If your gonna Cheat...Cheat Death, If your gonna Steal...Steal a Heart!
7.I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
8.My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".
9.Don't follow me, I walk into walls
10.Each day I get up in the morning praying to God that everyone should get a friend like you...why should only I have to suffer!
11.I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
12.Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
13.Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.
14.we never really grow up; we only learn how to act in puplic.
15.They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
16.Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
17.THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE!!
Follow them around the house everywhere.
Moo when they say your name.
Run into walls.
Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"
Wear a sticker that says, "I’m a retard"
Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"
Do what they actually tell you.
Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.
At everything they say yell, Liar.
Try to swim in the floor.
Tap on their door all night.
18.When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
19.LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
-See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
-I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
-He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
-Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
For the losers who didnt get it..... ur dumb
20. best excuses when you get caught falling asleep on your desk:
- "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
- "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in
that time management course you sent me to."
- "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably
got here just in time!"
-"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."
- "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
- "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who
practice Yoga?"
- "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."
-"The coffee machine is broken..."
- "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk...
- " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
hope to make
SOMEONE
smile hope its makes a different even
though its lame
SMILE
1.Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
2.People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day
3.I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.
4.I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
5.Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?
6.Lets TOAST to Lying,Cheating, and Stealing....if your gonna Lie..Lie for a Friend. If your gonna Cheat...Cheat Death, If your gonna Steal...Steal a Heart!
7.I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
8.My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".
9.Don't follow me, I walk into walls
10.Each day I get up in the morning praying to God that everyone should get a friend like you...why should only I have to suffer!
11.I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
12.Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
13.Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.
14.we never really grow up; we only learn how to act in puplic.
15.They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
16.Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
17.THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE!!
Follow them around the house everywhere.
Moo when they say your name.
Run into walls.
Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"
Wear a sticker that says, "I’m a retard"
Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"
Do what they actually tell you.
Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.
At everything they say yell, Liar.
Try to swim in the floor.
Tap on their door all night.
18.When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
19.LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
-See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
-I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
-He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
-Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
For the losers who didnt get it..... ur dumb
20. best excuses when you get caught falling asleep on your desk:
- "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
- "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in
that time management course you sent me to."
- "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably
got here just in time!"
-"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."
- "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
- "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who
practice Yoga?"
- "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."
-"The coffee machine is broken..."
- "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk...
- " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
want more...hahah soon
adious_peace out
adious_peace out
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